Suicide Watch

Seahawks 10, Steelers 21

“…4:00 wallow in self pity… 4:30, stare into the abyss…
5:00, solve world hunger, tell no one…. 5:30, jazzercise…
6:30, dinner with me. I can't cancel that again…
7:00, wrestle with my self-loathing; I'm booked.
Of course, if I bump the loathing to 9 I could still be done in time
to lay in bed, stare at the ceiling and slip slowly into madness.”

It was hard to get to sleep last night and it was hard to get up this morning. I don’t think I’ve felt this depressed since the last time I was dumped by a girl I really really liked… and since I can hardly every stand anybody, to the point that I never go on dates... that was a LONG time ago.

They say that what goes up must come down. I’m no physics whiz, but I’d guess the depth of a drop must be a two to one multiple of the height. I was riding the highs of the Seahawks train for the past 4 months. Especially in the past four weeks there have been tons of on-line media to read, watch, or listen to. And since I never do ANYTHING at work, I’ve taken in just about every ounce of it.

The bad thing is that now that its over all the down time I used to spend devouring 'Hawks media I now spend bumming out about what’s transpired.

“…I know the rage that drives you: that impossible anger strangling the grief, until the memory of your [team’s almost perfect season] is just poison in your veins. And one day, you catch yourself wishing the [team] you loved had never existed so you'd be spared your pain.”

I’ve heard it said that it’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. And I really AM ecstatic about the Seahawks even making it to the Super Bowl, but until they get back and win it, I think I’ll forever have a bitter taste in my mouth about how it seemed like the calls, the game, the refs, the league, and the nation seemed to conspire against the Seahawks. If you think I’m just a whiny fan, look at the game stats and tell me the Seahawks shouldn’t have won!

“You love the [Seahawks], but have they ever loved you back?”
“Who do you think you are… Dr. Phil? Go on, get outta here!”

I’ll never stop loving the Seahawks or the game of football, or even the NFL, but until they hoist a “World Champions” flag high above Qwest Field, I’ll always have my suspicions about the integrity of Super Bowl XL.