Losing loved ones

First off, let me say that there’s nothing sadder than when someone close to you dies, and if someone stumbles across this post during a time when they’re trying to cope with the feelings that follow the death of a friend or family member, my condolences go out to you. The rest of this post is NOT about people dying, so I apologize if the title was misleading.

“Lois, someday…”
“Clark, don’t tell me that someday I’ll meet someone!
You’re a pretty tough act to follow, you know?”

Although I didn’t lose a relative, my recent loss DOES feel like a death in the family: in the past week, I’ve lost TWO of my very favorite shirts. I know that I’m supposed to tell myself that they’re just shirts and that there are other shirts out there that I’ll find some day that I’ll love just as much, but these weren’t just any old shirts, these had been a significant part of my life for the past four years.

They say that the clothes make the man. Assuming that’s true, then it should be obvious why I feel so devastated. These were the shirts I could count on when I needed to know I looked good. These were the shirts I wanted to wear every day, but on weekends when I had dates, I’d save them for the weekend. These were the shirts that went with everything for any occasion.

“Seems to me, that button is in the worst possible spot.

The second button literally makes or brakes the shirt, look at it: it's too high!

It's in no-man's-land, you look like you live with your mother.”

Probably the saddest part is that now I’m stuck wearing shirts that my mom bought me (not that there’s anything wrong with that). They’re fine shirts and I really do like the patterns, but the buttons just aren’t properly spaced. I can either wear the second button buttoned (which makes it look like the shirt is choking me) or unbuttoned (which feels just way too David Hasselhoff for me).

But geez! Those old favorite shirts of mine had their buttons in JUST the right places. I don’t know what I’m going to do without them! Plus, one of them had snaps instead of buttons, which is so cool because when you’re taking it off you can tear it open like Superman. I’m really going to miss those old friends of mine.

My dad had a birthday last week: I sent him the exact same pair of slippers that he already had (but his were getting worn out) and he called to tell me how perfect the present was. We got to talking and it sounds like he’s just the same as me: when I find something that I like I want to keep it forever and if it needs replacing I want to replace it with the very same thing. These shirts are so old that I don’t think they even make that sort of material anymore, but I’m willing to look for a while just to be sure.

“Wait. Why is Obi-Wan wearing by bathrobe?
…I see you got barbeque sauce on my bathrobe.”
“You have done that yourself!”
“I think I’d remember. I’m very neat. We both know I don’t eat barbeque.
I ABSOLUTELY don’t eat barbeque!”
“Only a SITH deals in absolutes.”

Of coarse, it might be best just to let it go. I once had a Nordstrom tie that I loved, but I lost it in a move. I went to about 6 different Nordstroms looking for the same tie and couldn’t find it anywhere, until I found the very same tie on eBay, so I bought it right away—the listing claimed that it was like new. Well, I was so excited to get it that I wore it to church the Sunday after it arrived. But during a boring part of Sunday School (which isn’t a rarity by any means) I was admiring my resurrected favorite tie only to discover that there were lots of tiny barbeque stains on it… “like new” my eye! I haven’t worn it since.

“Rejoice for those around you who transform into the Force.

Mourn them, do not. Miss them, do not.

Attachment leads to jealousy. The shadow of greed, that is.”
“What must I do, Master Yoda?”
Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose.”

I think it probably is best to just let them go. One of the shirts was ruined by a tear in the elbow and I’m toying with the idea of cutting and hemming it to make it into a short sleeve shrit, but chances are that it would look dumb and my infatuation with the shirt would blind me to how stupid it looked—and looking stupid in a favorite shirt defeats half of the purpose for a shirt being a favorite.

I can only hope that this holiday season brings the good fortune of introducing a new favorite shirt into my wardrobe. So, if anyone’s looking for gift ideas for a certain me… a button down shirt is at the top of my list… one with all the buttons in all the right places and colors that go with everything (I saved swatches from both of my defunct favorites if you’d like a reference).