Subtley enjoying distractions

At work there are some things I have to do and some things I want to do… the trick is making time for both, yet giving the appearance of only doing the former. To make no time for fun is to pervert one’s productivity, but to focus soley on fun is to prevent productivity.

I’m a media buyer—my job is to purchase advertising time and space on TV, radio, and in newspapers. It’s my job to spend other people’s money, so I only have as much work as I am given orders to fill. This provides me with occasional moments, between buys, with nothing to do. I consider this to be discretionary time—we all have it, we all deal with it differently, but I’ve learned there are right ways and wrong ways to deal with it.

Why is there a right and a wrong? Well, it’s like this: deep down, every employer wants his employees to work themselves to the bone every second they’re on the clock, and every employee would rather be paid to do nothing. I say “deep down” because we all have ethical standards and/or limits to our attention spans that disallow us to categorize ourselves in either of the preceding categories, nevertheless there is an inner motivation—one that takes no effort to perpetuate (in fact most of our efforts go to suppressing it)—that is constantly pulling us in the direction of either the nazi employer or the lazy employee.

“Search your feelings you know it to be true.”

Since I don’t write anyone’s paycheck, I am subject to the temptations of the lazy employee --wanting to be paid, but not wanting to work—as do the majority of my co-workers. As an employee, it's important for me that my employer maintains the idea that I am a hard worker--to admit that I work to help him perpetuate that opinion, is not a confession of deception--quite the contrary--I am a very hard worker and I've got the work and the results to show it, but there are moments when I've got no work to work hard on--it's those moments that you want to protect your employer from--you want to avoid giving your boss the opportunity to associate you with down time.

All of us here at my job are in 10 x 10 foot cubicles, which are open aired (no tops) with entrance openings no wider than three feet. So, during those discretionary moments, a person is unmonitored and thus free to do to whatever they like, but they need to be sure to at least look busy during those split seconds in which they can be seen by anyone who might pass their cubicle’s opening. It’s not difficult, because you can always hear someone approaching with plenty of time to ‘alt-tab’ out of the espn.com screen or mindsweeper game window and into a work-related spreadsheet.

There is no breech of ethics in enjoying one’s discretionary time, so long as you take care of every responsibility within your power. Many employers understand that their employees won’t stay busy all the time, but even so, you don’t want to go around broadcasting that you have free time with no work to do because that could shed a bad light on your work to your employer’s view, or on your company to a client’s view.

Like any indulgence, you don’t want to give those around you the impression that all your time is spent indulging. Indulgences should be enjoyed deliberately yet discretely.

"Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it. It's too risky. You get a sense of it and then you look away."

Enjoying discretionary time should never overtly be the main focus of any moment. One must always maintain the pretense that they are indeed busy, activities that can be enjoyed from the same sitting position from which work is accomplished are ideal for maintaining that façade.

One of the other media buyers here drives me crazy. He’s one of those people that takes pride in being better than others—so he thrives on finishing his work before anyone else. The work we do is mostly behind-the-scenes stuff and finishing early doesn’t attract (or warrant) a lot of attention, so this co-worker of mine will spend his down time pacing around the office making a scene about how bored his is—it’s an elaborate display of well-rehearsed eye rolling and deep, despairing sighs.

“Moreover when ye fast, be not, as the hypocrites, of a sad countenance: for they disfigure their faces, that they may appear unto men to fast. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.”

Sometimes it makes me nervous to see him flaunting his free time. Sooner or later someone’s going to say, “Jeez, the media buyers seem to be wasting a lot of time, let’s put them incharge of buying media and scrubbing the toilets.” When I see this guy walking around I feel like a veteran army captain who knows that if you want to stay alive, you stay down and keep your head lower than the trench. This co-worker of mine is like a brand new private, fresh out of basic and so proud to be at war that he struts around the trench, standing tall enough for the enemy to see him—thinking he’s impressing them by his mere presence, when really he’s just making a target of himself. Whenever my co-worker does that I feel like yelling at him to stay low and get back into his fox hole (cubicle).

“Oh, shucks, Trigger. It’s only Nutsy. And criminently! Get back to your patrol. On the double. Get!”
“I’m a-getting, I’m a-getting”
“That Trigger. He’s getting everybody edgy…”

The wise soldier keeps his head down and waits for the open-fire order before he stick’s his neck out. It’s the best way to ensure that you’ll be ready to fight when the time comes. Who knows what he does before the order is given. Some soldiers write letters, others read books. As for me, I busy myself with computer solitare, or I research internet topics like the Apollo space program, or how they get sugar out of sugar cane, or how much Old Yeller costs to get on DVD.